Last Sunday

Frank preaches his last sermon in Munfordville today.  I am planning to go since it’s our last Sunday, but I totally don’t feel like it.  There’s supposed to be a meal afterwards.  Unfortunately, I’m not looking forward to chatting and all that.  Hopefully the day will pass quickly.

On a more positive note, I’ve been turned on to Craigs list.  I sold some nursery items of Lydia’s as well as her crib & changing table.  I never liked the crib & never used the changing table.  In total we made $50, which I plan to spend on Lydia’s fall clothes.  The lady that purchased the nursery items has a granddaughter due when Sarah Elizabeth was due. 

I thought I’d include a pic of Sarah Elizabeth today…

Sarah Elizabeth Melton

Viewing

Today we go (at 1pm) to see little Sarah Elizabeth for the last time (on earth).  I am so dreading this.  I didn’t sleep much last night and when I did manage to sleep, Frank woke me up with his restlessness.  To add to this, Lydia is teething and has been so ill and whiny.  I caved in and gave her some Ibuprofen this morning, so hopefully that will help.

still dealing with having a stillborn

Yesterday we had a visitor that asked us what has gotten us (so far) through this ordeal.  He asked what Scripture have we found comfort in.  Frankie’s answer was in the Gospel of Mark, chapter 5, when Jairus came up to Jesus imploring Him to save his dying daughter.  Jesus was delayed with other healings (the woman with the issue of blood) and the little girl died.  So Jesus gets to the house eventually and verse 38-42 says:
“And entering in, He said to them, “Why make a commotion and weep? The child has not died, but is asleep.”  They began laughing at Him. But putting them all out, He took along the child’s father and mother and His own companions, and entered the room where the child was. Taking the child by the hand, He said to her, “Talitha kum!” (which translated means, “Little girl, I say to you, get up!”).  Immediately the girl got up and began to walk, for she was twelve years old. And immediately they were completely astounded.”

So neither of us were under any illusions that this baby would be raised from the dead on Saturday (although our Lord certainly has that power if He so desires to use it).  Even though our baby is not with us now, but resting with our Lord, ONE day Christ will tell Sarah Elizabeth ” Talitha kum!” …Little Girl I say to you get up.  Sarah Elizabeth, along with all other dead Christians will arise and meet our Lord in the sky, leaving this wicked world!  Praise the Lord. 
We have so much comfort in knowing that Sarah Elizabeth existed here for a short time and exists now forever.  Without conception she did not exist.  Even though she did not live after birth, we will see her again and know her for eternity.  That is a comfort.

One of the first things I thought in this was, “Why” …even though there is no answer.  I know God has a purpose and a plan.  I thought of Romans 8:28 :
And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
For me, this is a comforting promise.  God will use this for good.  He is merciful and kind.  Although I may question why and not understand, there is comfort in knowing His thoughts and ways are well above my own…and in knowing He loves me.

Everyone knows Psalm 139…. especially the verse..”For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made…”  One thought that gave me comfort was that my baby was not an accident…and something didn’t just “go wrong”… The verse is still true for Sarah Elizabeth.  God did form her inward parts.  She was fearfully and wonderfully made.  God did not forget about her …nature did not just weed her out.  This was God, not nature or a freak accident.  And I trust God fully in all things, even this.

Saturday 8/16/08

We came home from the hospital today.  Sarah Elizabeth Melton was (still)born at 4:02am this morning.  I delivered her naturally and alone in the hospital room…an interesting experience, but one I am thankful for.  It was quick and not having medical intervention (even though it was only for a few minutes that I was alone) was surprisingly good.  Frank had left the room to get a drink…he was gone literally 2 minutes. 
Sarah looked so perfect…she was only 3.5 lbs and 16.5 in, and her skin was thin and peeling, however, she looked very much like Lydia Catherine.  (Same shape of features, same dark hair).

Today has not been too hard of a day.  We are definitely grieving and regret that she is not with us, but we are ok.  Lydia is a huge distraction! 

Intrauterine Death

That’s the medical term…or stillbirth.  Yesterday we found out our baby has died in utero at 7.5 months (it likely happened Tuesday or Wednesday and we do not know exactly what happened yet).  Today I will be going to the hospital to give birth via induction…an experience I am absolutely dreading.  We are very sad and disappointed, but we know God is merciful and loving and we are holding on to His promises.

August

Well, we have been in SC for about a month now and there are many new things to report.  First, Lydia has been totally weaned!  WOOHOO!  About three weeks ago she was nursing to go to sleep and I just burst out, “I can’t do this anymore.”  I gave her to Frankie and he and my mom got her to sleep.  It was a rough night.  I had to go to the bedroom and cover my head with a pillow.  It took her less than an hour to fall asleep though, and she only woke up about three times during the night (those times I rocked her and she fell back asleep).  The next night she only woke up twice and going to sleep wasn’t much of a problem (my mom rocked her…no tears at all).  The third night mom rocked her and she again woke up maybe twice.  The fourth night I rocked her and she slept all night.  Since about the 8th day she hasn’t cried or asked for the breast at all.  It is soooo awesome!  I have noticed that at night she’s more clingy to me and has to have me touching her or has to be touching me to fall asleep (especially if she wakes up during the night).  I thought I was prepared to tandem nurse, but I am so thankful Lydia is weaned (well before the other baby arrives). 
The other big change is that Frank resigned from LCBC (he will preach there through the end of this month).  Our options are varied and we have not decided on anything.  We are in a bit of a pickle to be honest.  Our motto these days is Proverbs 3:5-6:  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. 
He has talked to four churches so far (two in KY and two in SC). 
We should be out of this apartment by September (a thought that thrills me…even if we do end up in a parsonage).  The potential for change is exciting.  The baby is due in October, so there will be a lot of change for us…probably all at once.